


Put a Little Ice Cream On It

by mahoni



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Bodyswap, Canon Related, Crack, M/M, Sexual Tension, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-06
Updated: 2010-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-05 21:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mahoni/pseuds/mahoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wesley would like his proper body back. Immediately, if at all possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put a Little Ice Cream On It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yhlee](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=yhlee).



By the time Angel got back with Cordelia and Gunn, Wesley had:  


  * Vamped out once on purpose and once on accident and cut his tongue on his vampire teeth both times;
  * Looked everywhere for a mirror because the novelty of not seeing himself in a mirror was too much to resist;
  * Failed to find a mirror, because Angel did not keep mirrors for obvious reasons;
  * And stared longingly at the blood in Angel's refrigerator several dozen times because he was unbelievably hungry but could not bring himself to partake. Because it was _blood_. Not to be too Cordelian, but _ew_.

  
"Where have you been?" he said when they finally arrived. "You've been gone all day!"

"Hey, human-demon bodyswap accidents aren't exactly common," Cordelia said. "It's not like we could just pop into Wal-Mart for a cure. We had to go a few places."

"And also stop for ice cream," Gunn said. "And before that we had to stop for a steak at Rosie's. A _cooked_ steak."

Wesley would have gaped offendedly, but the mention of real food was making him drool. He had to take a moment to get a hold of himself.

By then Angel had made it down the stairs. He was licking his fingers and had a bit of ice cream on his chin and hardly looked guilty at all.

"Oh wonderful," Wesley said. "So while I'm down here trapped in this windowless dungeon starving because the only thing that will actually sate my hunger is pig's blood, you're out prancing around in the sunshine enjoying a steak dinner and a trip to Ben and Jerry's?"

For a moment Angel, Cordelia and Gunn just stared at him. It was creepy, because Angel was currently wearing Wesley's face, but somehow Wesley managed to ignore that and replay what he'd just said in his head.

"Oh," he said. "Well. When I put it that way, I can see why you might do that..." He cleared his throat. "But you're back. Does that mean you've found a cure?"

Angel came and stood in front of Wesley, staring at him in the fascinated way he'd done when the switch first happened. For Wesley it was like looking in a mirror at himself; for Angel it must be like...well, looking in a mirror at himself, except that he hadn't done much of that in the last couple hundred years.

"Wow," Angel said. He reached up and patted Wesley lightly on the head. "I really do use too much hair gel."

Hearing his voice with an American accent was just bizarre. Batting Angel's hand away, he backed up a step.

"Yes, yes, we've been telling you that for how long? The point, however, is can we get ourselves back into our proper bodies? And please God say yes, I beg of you."

Gunn hadn't stopped staring at him; now he snickered.

"What?" Wesley demanded.

"Nothing," Gunn said. He was still snickering, though.

Cordelia, standing next to him, tilted her head as she gave Wesley a once-over. "The stuffy British stick-up-his-ass persona doesn't match Angel's style at all."

Gunn nodded. "Needs more tweed."

"And much less chiseled cheekbones. Those babies are wasted on Wesley."

Wesley planted his hands on his hips. "I'm _right here_. And I lost my body, not my hearing."

Sighing, Angel shot Cordelia and Gunn a pointed look. Wesley tried not to be jealous about the fact that he'd never been able to pull off that look so well when he was in his own body.

"All right, all right," Gunn said. "We'll leave you to your --" He did air quotes. "-- cure."

Cordelia made a face. "Ugh, I wish you guys had left me out of the research party on this one. I really could have lived without having those particular images in my head. Just. Ew."

She flapped her hands like she was shaking cooties off and followed Gunn to the elevator.

As soon as they were out of sight, Wesley said, "Why do I have the feeling I'm not going to like this cure?"

He looked at Angel, eyebrow raised.

Angel broke out in a smile. Wesley's smile, except Wesley was pretty sure it looked better when Angel did it, somehow.

"Is that what I look like when I do the eyebrow thing at you guys?" Angel said.

Wesley blinked. "Yes, of course. This is your face. Well." He crossed his arms and slouched back to lean against the back of the couch. "Apparently you'll have to envision the expression without a stick up your arse."

Angel snorted, and sat on the back of the couch beside Wesley. "Were you that miserable down here all day?"

Yes, as a matter of fact, Wesley had been incredibly miserable. The blood thing had been bad enough, but he'd also been conscious of the fact that he had a _demon_ in him. He had, in fact, made a concerted effort to be as miserable as possible so that there would be no chance of said demon getting free.

Angel had clearly had a wonderful day in his borrowed body, though. Wesley hated to make him have to feel guilty about it for any reason.

"Not really," he said. "It was actually quite relaxing. And there was that whole vampire strength thing. I was bench-pressing enormous weights in your weight room. Normally I can hardly manage a dozen push-ups, so that was quite exciting."

Grinning again, Angel bumped Wesley with his shoulder. He'd been holding a small bag; now he held it up. "Here. I brought you ice cream. I thought you might be curious about what it tastes like when you're a vampire."

"Oooh." Wesley peeked in the bag. Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia. His favorite. "I did wonder how different food might taste, but you didn't have anything around except that tin of Cordelia's brownies."

He didn't take the ice cream out of the bag just yet, though.

"And now that I've let you avoid the subject for a moment," he said. "The cure?"

Angel ducked his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Ah. Well. It's...going to be a little weird."

"Weird how?" Wesley said. "Embarrassing ritual dancing weird, or head-spinning vomit-spewing weird, or...?"

Angel bit his lip and gave Wesley an embarrassed half-smile.

And it was _adorable_, for God's sake. If it had been Wesley in his own body he would have looked a complete ass -- awkward and ridiculous instead of cute.

Angel looked better in Wesley's body than Wesley did. It was _so not fair_.

"Oh, just tell me. Get it over with."

"We have to have sex."

Silence.

"Sex," Wesley said. "With each other?"

"With ourselves," Angel said. "Which means...yeah. With each other."

"Right, right. Sex with ourselves. In the dark, with blindfolds on so that we don't have to see ourselves, and good God you're serious."

Now was the time for gaping. He gaped.

"But. But. What about the, you know. The moment of true happiness? Won't you -- or possibly I, if this doesn't actually work -- oh my god, I could turn evil -- Angel, if we do that and it doesn't work I would become _evil_ \-- I'll be Angelus -- no, I'll be _Wesleyus_, I'll be evil _and_ ridiculous --"

He broke off when Angel clapped a hand over his mouth.

"For Chrissake, Wesley, take a breath."

While Wesley did as he was told, Angel sighed.

"That won't be a problem. You'll be too worried about that happening to really enjoy it, and I'm _always_ worried about that happening so I probably won't entirely enjoy it either." He grimaced. "Plus there's that whole thing where we'll be having sex with _ourselves_ and I'm pretty sure that'll put a pretty big damper on things."

"Mmph nmph ffm muh hummph --" Wesley said. Or tried too. Gave up halfway through and glared at Angel.

"What?" Angel said. "Oh, right, sorry."

He dropped his hand from Wesley's mouth. Wesley rather belatedly remembered the whole vampire strength thing and realized he'd just missed probably the only opportunity he'd ever have of overpowering Angel without having to resort to tranquilizers and chains. _Dammit._

"I was just trying to say," he said. "You don't seem too concerned about the fact that you will, in essence, also be having sex with _me_."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "You're not exactly freaking out about it either."

Wesley stared at him. As if his monster crush on Angel had not been visible to little green men on bloody Mars.

"Riiiiight," Angel said, giving up the pretense of not knowing Wesley's little non-secret. "Well."

And then he slipped a hand around the back of Wesley's neck and pulled him in and kissed him. Wesley closed his eyes automatically, and for a moment was shocked enough to forget that he was sort of kissing himself.

"Ah," he said when Angel finally pulled back. "And that was. That was what, exactly?"

"That was something I've been wanting to do for a while," Angel said. "Kind of glad to finally have an excuse."

"Ah," Wesley said again.

For a moment they sat in silence, looking awkwardly at everything but each other. Finally Wesley cleared his throat and held up the bag.

"Then perhaps you'd like to share my ice cream with me?" he said. When Angel glanced at him, bemused, Wesley said, "Well. In lieu of dinner and a movie, I mean."

Angel laughed softly. It was a nice sound. Wesley hoped he'd be able to draw it out of Angel a lot more when things were back to normal.

"Our lives are weird," Angel said.

"Very."

"I'll get the spoons."

*End*


End file.
